


When all is wrong

by Repatablind



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Death, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Female Friendship, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Relationship Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-18 04:47:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14846022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repatablind/pseuds/Repatablind
Summary: After a rough day Tasha needs to talk but what if nobody want to listen ?What if, after feeling alone for so many time, she finally takes some decisions ?





	1. All went black

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, so I wanted some hurt/Comfort for Tasha.   
> Takes place after 3x14 ( but not right after).  
> Can be associate with "confidential" but can also be alone.  
> English is not my language so I apologie for mistakes...

**After a rough day, all she needed was someone to talk to.**

**She went to his apartment, hoping that he would be there for her, as he had promised.**

**Some seconds after she had knocked, a smiling Kurt opened the door.**

\- _Hey_ , **she said, her eyes full of tears**.

\- _Hey_ …

\- _It’s been a terrible day, and I wanted to…_ **Suddenly interrupted by a familiar laugh, Tasha looked behind her friend. She saw four glasses on the table, and around it Patterson, Reade and Jane were laughing.**

\- _Tasha, it’s not what you think_ , **Kurt tried to explain**.

**She felt like her heart had just broke. She tried hard not to cry in front of him, but it was hurting**.

\- _Oh no ? So, it’s not my friends, drinking and laughing in your apartment ?_

\- _We wanted to…_

\- _To invite me ? But what ? I’m such a monster that you finally decided not to ?_

\- _No Tasha, nobody thinks that of you. It’s just that you were already gone when we decided to come here and …_

\- _Please Kurt, don’t try to find an excuse ! You obviously don’t want me here !_ **The brunette said, leaving the corridor**.

\- _Wait, Tasha, come in, it’ll be fun !_ **Kurt answered, trying to keep her from leaving**.

\- _Kurt, you didn’t wanted me when you planned this. So… Don’t act like you want me now_! **She struggled to keep back her tears**.

\- _Zapata…_ **He tried, but she was already gone.**

 

 

 

**She walked for hours, alone.**

**She finally sat by the Hudson. The Agent started to cry as she reminded everyone she had lost.**

**First of all she had no family, because after her coward father had left them, she ran away from her alcoholic mother and now she had no more relation with her brothers.**

**Then, she tried to replace this chaotic family by her work and colleagues. But Ricky died, then Andy and she finally left the police. Once more she ran away from pain, sadness, but once again it only strengthen those feelings.**

**After all happened in her life and even if she was kind of destroy, she thought she had found a family. She had loved them so much, but once again, she had destroyed everything.**

**What type of friend was she ? She thought.**

**She had lied to her best friend, making the whole team angry at her, she admitted her engaged best friend she was in love with him, making their relation uncomfortable.**

**Now, she needed to be saved, but Kurt was letting her fall… Fall… Fall… What if she fell into the water ?**

**What if she walked into the deep black water ?**

**What if she decided to stop everything tonight ?**

**The idea stayed in her mind for a while.**

**No, she could not run away, not this time… But … After all… No, she could not do that.**

**She needed them… But they hated her…**

**She didn’t want to leave… But wherefore would she stay ? They had proved they didn’t want her anymore…**

**No ! She had to be strong !**

**But she knew that without her team, she was weak…**

 

**BUZZ BUZZ…**

**Returning to the reality, she took her phone and saw many messages :**

**9.05 Pm : Kurt Weller:** _Please come back._

**9.08 Pm : Kurt Weller _:_** _Tasha, we didn’t want to exclude you_ …

**10.13 Pm : You have three missed calls from « Kurt Weller ».**

**10.17 Pm : Edgar:** _Tash ?_

**10.18 PM : Edgar _:_** _Where are you ?_

**10.24 Pm : You have five missed calls from « Kurt Weller » ;** **« Edgar » and « Jane D ».**

**10.25 Pm : Kurt Weller:** _Can you answer ?!_

**10.32 Pm : Edgar:** _Tasha answer, please, we are worried…_

**10.35 Pm : Jane D :** _Hey Tasha, just wanted to know if you were ok ?_

**10.36 Pm : Edgar :** _Damn it Zapata ! Don’t make me ask Patterson to trace your mobile phone !_

**10.40 Pm :** **You have two missed calls from « Edgar ».**

**10.41 Pm : Edgar :** _Tasha ! Pick up this damn phone !!_

**10.43 Pm :** **You have three missed calls from « Edgar ».**

**10.44 Pm : Edgar :** _Tasha we are WORRIED ! Can you stop being a kid and just answer ! A « ok » would be enough._

**10.47 Pm : Patterson  _:_** _Zapata ?_

  1. **54 Pm : Jane D :** _Tasha the boys are totally freaking (we all) … Can you call us back please ?_



**She looked again at the screen, it was 11.03 now and she didn’t want to answer. They just feel guilty, she thought.**

**She pictured them laughing around the table, and she felt even more alone…**

**After a while she remembered the last time she had felt that lonely. The only thing which permitted her to be better was risk.**

**She knew exactly where to go…**

 

 

**It was like she could breath again. The ambient tension, the tokens, the cards’ friction, were all she needed.**

**After some games, she sat at the bar and ordered some drinks.**

**She didn’t notice the three men who were staring at her. When one of them got closer, she remembered that, years ago, she had lost a lot of money. The brunette understood that she was not welcome.**

**The man stared at her for a minute, then he finally talked** :

_\- I wasn’t expecting you here miss, it’s been a while…_

_\- Me neither… I just needed to…_ **Tasha stuttered.**

\- _What you need is none of my business ! I only care about what I need, and what I need is my money back…_

\- _I’m sorry but, I can’t pay you sir. I haven’t won a lot today and…_ **She knew what men like him could do to defaulters and was terrified.**

**The man looked at her, a wild light in his eyes. He took the time to caress her cheek and finally said :**

\- _Don’t worry, sweetheart, you don’t have to pay with money…_

**He put a hungry smile on his perverted face, which made Tasha shuddered.**

**She remembered that no one could save her, and all she wanted was to die. In a desperate desire of escaping to the reality, she followed him throughout the bar and finally arrived in a dark alley.**

**As soon as they were alone, the man started to beat her, to touch her, to kiss her… He whispered :**

\- _I love mexican puta_.

**As he took over her pant, Tasha started to cry. At the beginning she managed to stay silent, but the more he was invading her intimacy, the less she could retain the tears.**

\- _Shut up !_ **He said, beating her stomach.**

**The brunette screamed as he beat her.**

\- _I said callate la boca, a puta can’t complain. Shut up, SHUT UP_ , the **man covered her mouth with one of his hands**. _I want you to shut up your fucking mouth, unless you want me to cut your tongue !_

**Tasha struggled to retain a sob as the man bit and sucked her neck.**

**This man was disgusting and she knew she could win the fight, but not tonight… Tonight she wanted to lose, after that she would have nothing to keep her alive. Tonight she would not move.**

**As he started to take off their clothes, the man was pulled to the ground by a fast shadow. Tasha didn’t know what it was but the shadow was followed by others. The brunette could not stop trembling, even if one of these shadows tried to comfort her.**

**And suddenly all became black.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for kudos and comment.  
> Hope you enjoyed the story !

**Tasha carefully opened her eyes, trying to figure out where she was.**

**She flinched when she heard a voice close to her.**

**-** _Guys, I think she is waking up…_ **Said the voice.**

**Right after, she saw one of the shadow rushed to her.**

**The brunette looked at the place, lost…**

**When the shadow sat through her and grasped her hand, she felt a discharge and suddenly remembered the whole night.**

**As the souvenirs were coming back, she took off her hand from the stranger.**

**-** _Are you ok ?_ **Said a familiar voice.**

**She could not speak, but the place became more and more clear. She recognized the apartment and her friends.**

**-** _Since you weren’t answering, we asked Patterson to trace your phone,_ **Kurt explained.** _We… We almost arrived too late…_

**The Latina saw Patterson staring at her with a frightened and angry gaze. The whole team had this look.**

**-** _We arrested the man,_ **continued Jane,** _and then we brought you here. Patterson and I were trying to reassure you, but you were trembling and tears were falling through your pale face._

**-** _You weren’t answering_ **, added Kurt.** _Do you understand Tasha ? Can you imagine what we felt when you passed out ?_

**The brunette was clearly lost in her mind. It was like she wasn’t really conscious, really with them.**

**The whole team was staring at her, but she didn’t notice it since she was overthinking.**

**-** _I…I got to go._ **She said after a moment, trying to get up. But she failed and fell on the couch.**

**-** _Take it easy Tash, you can’t stand right now_ **. Reade said, putting his hand on Tasha’s back.**

**-** _Yes, Tasha, don’t try to leave. You are clearly not in your right mind, you need to rest_ **.**

**-** _Why ?_ **Asked Patterson after a while. Everybody looked at her, surprised. She stayed half lay in her seat and continued,** _you didn’t even try to defend yourself, why ?_

**Tasha looked down, she tried hard to restrain the tears which were coming.**

**-** _I…I…I don’t know_ **. The Latina finally said.**

**Patterson laugh.**

**-** _You don’t know ?_ **She angrily asked.**

**-** _Patterson, calm down !_

**-** _Let her some time._

**-** Some time ? Are you kidding me ? **She looked back at Tasha.** _Do you know that you talked when we transported you home ? Yes, you talked, a lot, and do you know what extremely interesting things you said ?_

**She just let Tasha nodded and continued :**

**-** _You said that we should have let you there… That we should have let him break you and destroy you… But you also said that you wanted to suffer, to die and …_

**-** _Enough Patterson_ **, yelled Reade.**

**After what seemed hours, Kurt spoke :**

**-** _Tasha, you have to understand that this situation is hard for us. But you are still family and…_

**-** _You know it’s wrong ! I’m not part of this family since I left for the CIA. Come on you know I’m right !_

**-** _You do believe is our fault, don’t you? But you lied to us !_ **Yelled Patterson.**

**The room went silent, again.**

**Patterson was struggling to calm down while Tasha tried hard not to cry.**

**Weller and Jane looked sorry but they totally appeared to be on the blonde’s side while Reade just wanted to hold the brunette.**

**-** _We are sorry Zapata_ **, Patterson said, surprising everyone, including herself, by the calm of her voice,** _we let you down, but…The things you did, the lies you told… It’s hard to forgive you know ?_

**-** _I…I…_ **The Latina violently started to sob, her head buried in Edgar’s shoulder.**

**She wasn’t expecting to hear Patterson talk to her like that. She had just heard how much the blonde cared about her, how much she loved her.**

**Nevertheless, she knew they weren’t the ones who had to apologize… But she couldn’t talk.**

**-** _We are sorry we gave up on you._

**-** _We should have seen how broken you are…_ **Added Jane and Kurt.**

**Tasha took a deep breath, trying not to sob.**

**-** _You…You are right. I’m the one who lied, who betrayed you…But things seemed easier that way. You don’t have to apologize… I can’t ask for a family when I’m not able to keep one._

**Zapata sight, looking at the team.**

**She finally spoke again :**

**-** _I’m gonna leave the FBI…_

**-** _WHAT ?_ **Patterson suddenly got up and stand in front of Tasha.** _Now you want to leave ?_ _You are such a jerk, Zapata, do you understand that ? U ARE A F**KING JERK ! We don’t require you to abandon us, we… We need you ! We don’t want you to quit. We want you to be honest with us !_

**Angry tears were falling from Patterson’s eyes.**

**-** _I think about it for a long time now. It’s the only way I found…_ **Tasha said, finding some interest in her shoes.**

**-** _The only way you found ? Are you kidding me ?_

**Patterson was totally angry, she wanted to fix the situation. She desperately wanted everything to be okay again. She wanted to recognize her best friend. But everything she was keeping inside, wanted to get out.**

**She let her whole fury explode :**

**-** _You are so selfish ! « You you you », you consistenly adopt what’s best for YOU ! We need you Zapata ! I need you…_ _But once again, you are only thinking about yourself ! I can’t let you go thinking I’m okay with that. Do you cop me ? Even if you lied, even if I hate you, I need you in my life Tasha ! Please don’t run away, please don’t ruin what’s left of our relation …_

**Tears were falling for both girls. For the first time in a while, they finally looked at each other. Both could see the pain in the other’s eyes.**

**-** _I’m…_ **Tasha tried, trembling,** _I’m sorry… I’m sorry I ruined your life._

**But the blonde was totally fed up with her attitude. She couldn’t understand why the brunette was so reactionless. She knew that the old Tasha would have yelled louder than her, trying to defend herself. But this Tasha was weak and defend less.**

**At that moment, she remembered what her friend said, months ago, when all was okay, after some drinks.**

**The Latina had told her she was alone, with no family, no other friend then the team. After that she had entirely opened her heart and revealed the geek everything from her childhood to these days.**

**Patterson finally understood. Tasha was not protecting herself, she was protecting the team.**

**She was not leaving the FBI, she was quitting her life.**

**She wasn’t trying to arrange everything, she was trying to make them hate her.**

**She wasn’t weak, she was desperate.**

**The blonde took her friend’s hand, and said more confident than ever :**

**-** _Look Tasha, we have trouble, we can’t deny it, but running away is not the solution, okay ? We’re gonna fix it. We’re gonna help you survive. Because you are not alone, you never were, and you will never be… You know why ? Because we are a family, and a family can mess up sometimes, but at the end we are still together._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!   
> Kudos and comment are appreciate.


End file.
